PALS Love Stories: David and Bonita Loomer

Love Stories Banner

Our 50 Year Journey with ALS, Our Love Story

I opened my email inbox the other day and saw an email from a man living in California, it was titled ‘Our 50 year journey with ALS, our love story.’ Not knowing what to expect I opened it and downloaded a 50 page file.

As I started reading, I realized as the Communications Manager for the ALS Association Greater New York Chapter, this was a love story I needed to share with all of you.

David Loomer met his wife Bonita in high school. Their love story started on the dance floor when she had the courage to ask him to dance.

“One might say not we were what you would call a perfect match as she was pretty formal and goal driven, where as I was more interested in experiencing life’s many wonders,” David said.

But despite their differences their relationship quickly progressed into something more serious. Serious enough for Bonita to introduce David to her mother. Bonita at the time was caring for her mother, who was diagnosed with ALS and could no longer walk or verbally communicate.

David and Bonita LoomerDavid said when it came time to propose to Bonita, she hesitated before responding.

“I vividly remember her saying, “are you sure you want to marry me knowing ALS can be familial”. I responded saying dear, we are all going to die from something, nobody will live forever, remember I’m in the business of dealing with death. I Love you, I want to spend the rest of my life with you, for better or worse, in sickness or in heath for all eternity,” David said.

David and Bonita, married had two daughters, and later two grandchildren. David said his priority was living each moment to its fullest and always putting family first.

David and Bonita Loomer with Children and Grandchildren

“Always having the thoughts of ALS in the back of our minds, never knowing if or when, caused us to do and experience things most wait until retirement years to enjoy. So looking back dealing with ALS at a young age instilled valuable lessons in both of us as to what is really important,” David said.

Unfortunately their fears became a reality when Bonita started showing signs of muscle weakness. She was diagnosed with ALS in March of 2014, at the age of 65. David said as the disease progressed Bonita never lost her will to keep fighting. He became her full time caretaker tackling it head on.

“Regardless of being imprisoned within her body, unable to do even the simplest task, she always managed to smile, that quirky little smile I fell in love with 50 years ago,” David said. “Her smile reinforced her love for me. Her body had failed but not her mind, so I became her arms and legs, we became one in each other.”

And you may wonder how after 50 years together and now taking on the role of caretaker David managed to keep the love alive. He said it’s about remembering what made them fall in love in the first place, a dance.

“Having to carry her everywhere, meant I was blessed with holding her in my arms at least a dozen times a day. She always loved to dance so I would lift her up and briefly sway, trying to sing “Can I have this dance for the rest of my life”, before placing her in a new spot,” David said.

In June of 2016 Bonita passed away with her soul mate of 50 years by her side. David said saying goodbye wasn’t easy but he knows she is now watching over the family.

“Our Granddaughter wanted to see Grammy, to say Good-bye. Not sure what the reaction would be we agreed. After seeing her she quickly responded, She is OK now, she can use her hands and feet again in Heaven. How profound was that?” David said.

In honor of Valentine’s Day the ALS Association Greater New York Chapter salutes all of the beautiful loves stories we witness each and every day working with all of you. Thank you for your continued love and support.

PALS Love Stories: Ed and Maria Sconzo

Love Stories Banner


PALS Love Story: Ed and Maria Sconzo

Love at First Dance

For Ed Sconzo it was love at first sight.

“I went home from a Sweet 16 party, my mother and aunts were at the table having coffee, and I said to them I think I met the girl I’m going to marry, and they just laughed at me” Ed said.

He was talking about Maria, who he met November of 1955 at a friend’s party.

“When I looked across the room I saw this beautiful girl, in a beautiful dress and shoes, and I went over to her and asked her if I could have this dance, she said yes and we started to dance,” Ed said. “We danced all night, and talked, and I asked for her number.”

So how exactly did Ed know that Maria was the one after a single dance?

“You know it is true love when you want to be with that person all the time. I remember we were both always late to class, because we would meet in the stairwell to steal a kiss between classes.” Ed said. “I just couldn’t wait to get over to her house to be with her, I was always so excited to spend time with her.”

Valentine’s Day 1959 Ed officially asked for Maria’s hand in marriage and the two have been inseparable ever since. They have been married for 57 years and have 3 children and 9 grandchildren.

“I love her as much as I did on the day I married her, maybe I even love her more because I appreciate her more. The sacrament of marriage is for better or worse, and in sickness and in health and I take that vow very seriously,” Ed said.

It is a vow that took on new meaning in 2010 when Maria was diagnosed with ALS.

“The dynamics of our relationship have changed a lot. It’s very hard for her to eat so I have to feed her, I brush her teeth, I bathe her, I dress her, and I do everything for her. I don’t mind because when you love someone you would do anything for them,” Ed said. “That’s what the sacrament of marriage is truly all about.”

When the times get tough Ed says he just remembers how truly lucky he is to be surrounded each day by such a loving family.

“I feel like I’ve been blessed. I’ve been blessed with a wonderful wife all my life and beautiful children and grandchildren. I have no regrets, and I’m just happy that we are still together,” Ed said.

Ed said keeping a marriage alive for 57 years isn’t always easy. It takes work and compromise.

“My advice to any couple is to never go to bed angry, and be like a sapling and bend a little. Nobody is perfect – you have to understand the other person,” Ed said. “I would tell them just to love each other. If that spark isn’t there between the two of you then it’s not going to work.”

For Ed and Maria that spark has never dulled. It shines as bright as it did that day in 1955, when he asked Maria, for what would be the first of a lifetime of dances.

In honor of Valentine’s Day the ALS Association Greater New York Chapter salutes all of the beautiful loves stories we witness each and every day working with all of you. Thank you for your continued love and support.

The ALS Association Greater New York Chapter Gives Thanks to All our Caretakers in Honor of Caregiver’s Awareness Month

eric-nelly-300

Eric and Nelly Roman -Cottes.

They are the silent warriors, the heroes that wake up every day to care for their loved ones. The caregivers whom without a second thought, step up when their family and friends are diagnosed with ALS.

Eric Roman-Cottes is the primary caretaker for his wife Nelly, and knows all too well the toll it can have on a family, but says he wouldn’t have it any other way.

“I will take care of her until the end no matter what it takes, just like she would do for me,” Roman-Cottes said.

Continue reading The ALS Association Greater New York Chapter Gives Thanks to All our Caretakers in Honor of Caregiver’s Awareness Month

Honoring CALS During National Caregivers Month

CaregiversMonth_Nov_website bannerCaregivers of ALS patients (often called CALS) are the unsung heroes of the ALS community. Oftentimes the work of family members or friends who tend to the health and comfort of a person with ALS (PALS) is greatly underestimated. A 2015 study by the National Alliance for Caregiving (NAC) found that caregivers spend on average about 24 hours a week providing care to a loved one and almost a quarter provide 41 or more hours of care per week. The NAC also estimated the cost of services provided by family caregivers at $375 billion a year, twice as much as real dollars spent on homecare and nursing home services combined ($158 billion). At the Chapter, we know that caregivers are priceless and at times they need a little TLC of their own.

Continue reading Honoring CALS During National Caregivers Month